The Stigma To Finding And Keeping Friends When Your Bipolar

Finding friends when you are bipolar is very hard, not to mention trying to keep them can be next to impossible.  I find that if I tell someone up front I am bipolar, then they distance themselves far from me.  They think or assume I'm crazy when that's far from the truth.  I have also tried waiting in telling people that I'm bipolar only to have them "dump me" as a friend later.  They dump me like a hot potato, like there is something horribly wrong with me.  They're either afraid of me or embarrassed by me.  And I'm bipolar II which is a much less form than that of bipolar I.  People don't think of how cruel and ridiculous they're being, and it's very hurtful.

People with bipolar do tend to think differently from others and can have different emotional responses, but it certainly doesn't mean they're crazy.  Bipolar is an illness, it's a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.  Most people tend to think of psychosis when they think of bipolar, but that's simply not true with bipolar.  Bipolar is a mood disorder, you get highs and lows or in my case for instance, as I said, I am bipolar II and I tend to be moderate to low most of the time.  To help you understand it more here is a link to a great article on 9 Myths of Bipolar Disorder.

An Insight To Christmas With Depression

December is here and that means stress and depression!  Stress of finances, shopping and dealing with crowds, missing family, dealing with traffic, cleaning, putting up Christmas decorations and cooking.  Christmas just isn't a good time of year for me.  It's very stressful and often times I deal with depression throughout the season.  Just dealing with the finances of Christmas alone is depressing. This time of the year is a day to day battle for me. 

On top of it all my husband hates Christmas, so that ruins it for me.  And he works straight through it.  My son is now grown and I miss my family.  My family lives an hour and a half away and my vehicle has some problems, so I can't travel to see them.  My parents are both deceased.  My mother passed away right around Christmas 2001, it was on December 13th.  My father passed February 2, 1982.  I miss them both dearly. 

I always feel exhausted as it is and the thought of cooking, cleaning, putting up decorations and shopping is overwhelming to me.  Not that I hate Christmas, I don't.  Matter of fact, it use to be one of the happiest times of my life.  I lived for Christmas.  Losing my father was hard, but I think once I lost my mother that was the final blow.  Then once my son was grown and I married someone who hates and wishes the holiday didn't exist that was just the icing on the cake. 

I just don't feel joy anymore.  All I feel is stress and depression.  I look around and see how happy everyone else is and I feel jealous that I don't have that.  It's hard not to be envious.  Every one telling you Merry Christmas and you feel pressured to be joyful and happy when your just not.  All I strive for at Christmas is to just get through it.  I take it one day at a time.  There's only one reason I still try to make it through Christmas and that is my son, even though he is grown, I know he still loves it, though he wouldn't say so.  He probably gets that from me over the past several years. 

This is just an insight into someone who deals with depression throughout the holidays.  But while I am just going to try to get through Christmas, I do hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas out there.  Because even though it's hard on me, I don't wish my predicament on anyone. 

World Mental Health Day: My Personal Experience

I am blogging today about World Mental Health Day.  I have what's called Bipolar II.  Bipolar II disorder (pronounced "bipolar two") is a form of mental illness. Bipolar II is similar to bipolar I disorder, with moods cycling between high and low over time.  However, in bipolar II disorder, the "up" moods never reach full-on mania. The less-intense elevated moods in bipolar II disorder are called hypomanic episodes, or hypomania.

A person affected by bipolar II disorder has had at least one hypomanic episode in life. Most people with bipolar II disorder also suffer from episodes of depression. This is where the term "manic depression" comes from.  In between episodes of hypomania and depression, many people with bipolar II disorder live normal lives.

I was only diagnosed with Bipolar II in 2007, but have been hospitalized, been to many doctors and counseling over the years and I have had issues with depression and hypomanic episodes since I can remember.  Having Bipolar II has been very difficult for me at times, but over the last few years, with the right diagnosis and medications, I am more stable.  I still have my ups and downs of course, but they're no where near as often or as bad as they use to be. 

Unfortunately, I still fight the stigma of having Bipolar II.  There are those who aren't interested in trying to understand the illness and don't even won't to be around you, but there are a few of those that do.  My wish is that one day the stigma of mental illness will be less dominant rather than being the dominant. 

If you take time to get to know those with mental illness you will find they are human beings just like you.  We just may have higher ups and downs than the average person, but we are still human and deserve to be treated as such.  So won't you please take the time to better understand mental illness and offer your support in what ever way you can?  Now is a great time to start, after all, it's World Mental Health Day.

Personal Stigma Hurts

I know first hand what it's like to deal with the stigma of having Bipolar. I have met many people in which we could have become friends, but the minute they found out I had bipolar, they backed away. It's as if I had some contagious disease. Either they were afraid of catching it or they're ashamed to know me or be seen with with me. I can't tell you how much that hurts me and how bad it really makes me feel. Then there are those who pretend to be your friend, but they're only there when they need something from you...when it benefits themselves. Otherwise you never see or hear from them. They are the fake friends who pretend the Bipolar is okay, that it doesn't bother them, only it does.

 I am a regular person who deals with an illness in which I take medication to help control it.  I'm not all that different from so called normal people, except sometimes my mood may be down more so than the average person and sometimes I may be up more. But I am a human being and deserve to be treated like one and as an equal.

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.  A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.  That last beautiful quote is a quote by Bernard Meltzer. So if you can not be those things to me just because I'm bipolar then your truly not a good friend to anyone. Your only lying to yourself and to them. You are an impostor.

A great place to start to fight stigma is NAMI StigmaBuster. NAMI StigmaBusters is a network of dedicated advocates across the country and around the world who seek to fight inaccurate and hurtful representations of mental illness. To join, click here NAMI StigmaBusters

A Positive Attitude Is Important

A positive attitude is very important, especially if you are one who tends to be a negative person or depressed.  Like myself for instance. Read More

Pets Can Be Good For Mild To Moderate Depression

Be sure to read my recent post on my Life Matters Blog, "Pets Can Be Good For Mild To Moderate Depression." 

Walk to Relieve Stress and Improve Health

Walking can help relieve stress and improve your health. Walking and getting out of a stressful environment, breathing in fresh air, taking time to think and clear your head and moving your body are all ways walking helps to relieve stress and improve your health.

On top of that, you get to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, not to mention it's great exercise if you walk four or five days a week for 30 to 60 minutes. Walking is good for you for a variety of reasons.

• Walking relieves stress. 
• Walking builds aerobic fitness. 
• Walking and exercise add years to your life. 
• Walking slows the aging process. 
• Walking reduces your risk of catching colds.

 So get outside, walk four to five days a week for just 30 to 60 minutes and take a step towards a mentally and physically healthier you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



5 Links to Help Fight the Christmas Blues

5 Links to Help Fight the Christmas Blues

Pushing through Bipolar Depression

Did you know there are many famous people who have Bipolar just like you?  Here's a list... http://www.famousbipolarpeople.com/  There are probably more people than you think or realize that have Bipolar, they just don't share it.  Most people still feel shamed by their illness and refuse to discuss it out of fear and shame.  But there is nothing to be ashamed of, Bipolar is an illness just like any other.  Even famous people with wonderful careers and talents have depression.  You are not alone. 

Bipolar is no laughing matter, especially when you fall into Bipolar Depression. You should always strive to push through your depression.  Of course, first you have to recognize it, and usually your able to do just that.  How?  Sometimes you start to feel sluggish both mentally, emotionally and physically, then there's the irritability and the crying spells or at least you feel like crying.  You may even feel so bad as to have suicidal thoughts.  When that point comes where you feel yourself starting to slide down, when happiness completely alludes you, then you have to start to push through it.  What are some ways to push through it?  Here is a list of ideas:

1. Watch funny movies
2. Listen to upbeat music and dance
3. Pamper yourself - take a nice warm relaxing bath, then put on your pajamas, give yourself a manicure, just relax and go easy on yourself
4. Be sure to take your medicine and if you have anxiety medicine, this is the time to take it
5. Talk to your counselor or psychiatrist if needed
6. Let your friends know your struggling, so they can help lift you out of it
7. Exercise if you can, even if just 10 minutes
8. Read, meditate, study the bible.  Ask God to help you through it
9. Keep a diary or journal
10. Keep yourself busy with chores, chatting online with friends, working puzzles, just keep your mind busy as much as possible

I hope the above suggestions will help you, as they help me.  Try to do at least half the suggested activities on the list when you start to feel the depression coming on.  This way you can combat it and push through it.  Bipolar Depression may feel like it's going to last forever, but always remember, Bipolar Depression is a temporary state, you can come out of it IF you take your medicines correctly, see your psychiatrist/counselor and do some of the activities listed above.  Just give it all your effort and push through Bipolar Depression.

Bipolar II - "A Day In My Life"

A video excerpt taken from my Bipolar Diaries to give you a personal look inside a day in my life living with Bipolar II Disorder.

Social support: Tap this tool to combat stress

Friends, family and a good social support circle are a key component of your mental wellbeing? Check out ways social support systems benefit everyone:  Be sure to read this great article by the MayoClinic.com

What is Bipolar I and II Disorder?

Bipolar I disorder is a mood disorder that is characterized by at least one manic or mixed episode. There may be episodes of hypomania or major depression as well. It is a sub-diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and conforms to the classic concept of manic-depressive illness

Bipolar II disorder is a bipolar spectrum disorder characterized by at least one hypomanic episode and at least one major depressive episode; with this disorder, depressive episodes are more frequent and more intense than manic episodes. It is believed to be under-diagnosed because hypomanic behavior often presents as incredibly high-functioning behavior. Indeed, to a physician or psychologist specializing in mood disorders, highly confident ambition might appear to be symptomatic of hypomania if that individuals goals are viewed as unrealistic.

To read more about Bipolar Disorder definitions, symptoms, treatments and more, please visit NAMI:  National Alliance on Mental Health

Negative People's Effects on those with Depression or Bipolar

Today, I want to share with you a little insight about overly negative people and their nasty effects on you.   My most personal inner thoughts and feelings and how it's affecting me personally.  Take someone like myself with Bipolar, I mean you wouldn't have alcohol around for alcoholics or drugs for drug attics would you? You wouldn't expect or want that for someone dealing with those issues. So why would you expect someone like me to deal with negativity which is what drugs and alcohol are to drug attics and alcoholics?  But this is exactly what is going on with me. Read more...

Mental Illnesses

Easy-to-understand information about mental illnesses, mental health care, diagnosis, treatment and recovery.  Read more at NAMI...

• Bipolar Disorder
• Depression
• PTSD
• Borderline Personality Disorder
• Eating Disorders
• OCD
• Schizophrenia

Postive Mindset

When one deals with mental illness of any type, it is especially important to keep a positive mindset. For those of us dealing with depression or Bipolar, a negative outlook is usually the norm, the dominant mindset.  So it is up to you to pull yourself out of that mindset and into a more positive one, as much and as often as you can. Whenever you find yourself drifting into those negative thought patterns, catch yourself, tell yourself that's what your doing, and that you are NOT going to let that happen.  Then proceed by thinking of positive thoughts, positive things...happy thoughts.

One way to help get and keep a positive mindset is to watch a cheerful happy or inspirational program on television or perhaps listen to some upbeat peppy positive music and dance around. Get outdoors and go for a short walk, get some sunlight, vitamin D is good for you and it is suggested that every get at least 15 minutes of direct non-stop sunlight every day. And let's not forget exercise, yes exercise.  Walking as I mentioned above is a great way to get exercise.  Walk for at least 20 minutes five times a week, preferably 30 minutes.  If you can't do that, then try squeezing in two 10 minute walks a day.  Another great way to have a positive mindset, relax and read an inspirational book. The number one book to read, pick up your bible, read and meditate on some scriptures dealing with depression and negativity.

These are just a few ways to get your started and to help you keep your mindset positive in your fight of the negativity that comes with mental illness. Just always remember to take each and every day, one day at a time, one moment at a time. Be happy in that moment.

Medication Talk

Today, I just wanted to touch on the subject of medications and how important it is to take your medications.  If you don't have insurance and can't afford a regular doctor, then you can go to the free clinic to get your medications.  They often can refer you to a mental health counselor as well.  Be sure to ask your doctor at the free clinic for free samples of your medications, and ask for generics as well.  Also ask about getting enrolled in the local medication assistance program.  If by chance they don't have one (but they should) you can go to my website and click on any of the prescription links and sign up with any one of those. As far as anxiety medications such as adivan or xanax the free clinic can not prescribe these.  For those medications, you will have to get those prescriptions from your Psychiatrist.  Be sure to work with your doctor by speaking up and speaking out about what medications you have taken in the past and what has worked for you and what has not. 

I currently have a fairly good combination of medications, a mixture of mood stabilizers, antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications that I have found to work good for me.  I currently take Risperdal, Celexa, Trazadone & Adivan (as needed).  It has taken me years to find a good combination that works, so don't give up...keep tweaking your medications as needed, but don't give up, eventually you will find a combination that works for you too.  Just know that it is extremely important to take your medications because no matter how bad things may seem to be; if you don't take your medications, things can be much, much worse.

 

A Look Inside: A Little Insight - Exerpt from my "Diary of a Bipolar Woman"

My doctors often told me to write down my feelings, that I should keep a journal.  I love to write, so that's exactly what I started doing.  Writing my mind, my conscience thoughts down in my online diary, "Diary of A Bipolar Woman".  This way I get to do what I love, write.  And I get to keep a record in writing all my most inner thoughts and feelings down in my diary to have on hand for therapy or even a book someday, should I choose to go that route. 

My diary is online for those looking for insight, understanding or fellowship in what you may also be going through or know someone who is.  I don't highly publicize it as they are my my private inner thoughts and feelings, but I do have it out there to help those that really need help or just could use the kinship.  At any rate, I thought I would from time to time publish an occasional excerpt from my diary here on my Mental Health Matters page for those that are genuinely interested.  I hope it helps you in some small way. 

Thoughts from my conscience - "Tuesday, May 20, 2010. Sometimes my outer shell (body) doesn't seem to want to cooperate with my mind. This is what I find most frustrating about Bipolar. No matter what the mood, ups or downs, now that I'm on my medications regularly the occasional blasts of energy levels I had are slim to none now. That's the down side to being regulated on medication. Your moods are more stabilized, but your physical energy diminishes. Often times now, it's just my mind that seems to have the changes in activity and creativeness while my body always feels exhausted. Every now and then, I do still get those bursts of energy, but not near enough to suit me or what I need to function in the world normally...energy wise.  It is such a gorgeous beautiful day outside today! I am hoping to take my puppy to the park later for a walk. One thing is for certain though. I will have to prepare my mind and more or less talk myself into going all day and hopefully in the end, my mind will win out over my tired exhausted body. As this is pretty much how it is with anything that takes physical activity or requires being in public or being social.  Most people would never guess that about me, because they think I'm somewhat outgoing. Truth is, my personality is somewhere in between.... I'm neither an introvert, nor extrovert, but a perfect balance of both. The problem is my Bipolar and actually even bigger problem is when it comes to my social anxiety. Again, most people to see me and talk to me in public would never guess what I go through privately, and what I am constantly battling to be out in the world. It is an inner battle and constant internal fight and struggle within myself. It may sometimes look effortlessly to the outside world, but is tumultuous to me on the inside." 
   
Again, please keep in my these are my most private inner thoughts and feelings, so your utmost respect, understanding and privacy is expected and greatly appreciated.  

Societies definition of Mental Illness = CRAZY

What is Societies definition of Mental Illness = CRAZY  And I am here to tell you WRONG!  Just like illness such as cancer or heart conditions there are different types of mental illnesses as well as varying degrees of severity and also within each type of illness.  But to society, just the very mention of the word mental illness means you are crazy, period.  No one cares about the details, no one dares to ask you, no one wants to know.  They would just rather assume you are crazy, when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Take Bipolar for instance, which is the condition I have and I assure you, I am NOT crazy.  "Psychiatrists, realizing a connection greater than coincidence, have performed studies all over the world in an attempt to establish a link between bipolar disorder and creativity" "One common feature in mania or hypo mania is the increase in unusually creative thinking and productivity."  Does that sound like a crazy person?  Now this particular excerpt sounds like me, "The only way bipolar patients can survive their depressed phases, oftentimes, is to unleash their despondency through some creative work".  This is exactly what I do and do it often if and when needed.  It is such a great therapy. 

My point is, once again, fighting the stigma.  Trying to ease people's minds.  Those of us with mental illness are NOT crazy, we just have extra special personalities with extra heightened and/or sensitive personalities, emotions and feelings which when we are regulated on medications are perfectly fine.  We just have to give ourselves some fine tuning every now and then along with a swift kick in the butt.  We also have to surround ourselves with the right type of people.  But as far as you go, don't be scared, don't assume, don't think we're crazy or any less of a person than you are because we are not.  That is just insulting to us.  If you have questions, then PLEASE ask.  It is the only way you'll ever know.

MHMatters - May Mental Health Month

May is Mental Health Month, so what are you doing to support or help?  One major thing you can do to help is to help rid the Stigma that is still attached to Mental Illness.  Mental illness is a real and genuine medical condition that affects a person's thinking pattern, their feelings, mood, ability to relate to others and function in their daily activities and routines.  People with mental illness have just that...an illness, they are not lazy, they're not just negative thinkers by choice, it's their illness.  I get so aggravated and annoyed with the overly "positive" people.  Being positive and telling people to be positive is all well and good, but there are some of us who don't choose to think negative or we simply can't be positive thinkers all the time.  We would certainly love to if we had a choice in the matter, but just like cancer or hepatitis, we don't have the choice of when we are going to be feeling 100% or even 50%. 

Mental Illness is real, it is a disease an illness.  So please, if there is just one thing you do to help support Mental Health Month, please help Stomp out the Stigma!  For more info go to NAMI Stigma Busters  Another great article for May is Mental Health Month can also be found here.  Please won't you show your support?

Have you seen the YouTube PSA's for Stomp the Stigma?

Have you seen the wonder new wonderful YouTube PSA's for Stomp the Stigma?  The new PSA was produced by actor Joe Pantoliano's No Kidding Me Too (NKM2) "Stomping the Stigma" campaign and includes several other actors. It coincides with release of an NKM2 documentary for DVD sales.  Whether you have mental illness, know someone with mental illness or not, if you haven't done so already, take a look!

For more information or YouTube PSA's visit NAMI's Stigma Buster.